Stupidity Doesn't Have a Limit

This site is all about CrushedCans. Cans are cool, they are readily available, they are easy to crush and they are part of our everyday lives. So here is a place you can purchase a blank, sealed aluminum can that has been artistically crushed.

With every purchase of a crushed can, you will receive the following:

(1) Crushed Can

It's really pretty simple. As was already stated, no rocket science here. If you want to order a Crushed Can, use PayPal and give your address and a can will be delivered to you.

Stupidity Doesn't Have a Limit

Sign a petition on a petitiononline.com to shut down petitiononline.com

Too Much Time

The Official Ninja Page

Ninjas are sooooooooooo sweet that I want to crap my pants. I can't believe it sometimes, but I feel it inside my heart. These guys are totally awesome and that's a fact. Ninjas are fast, smooth, cool, strong, powerful, and sweet. I can't wait to start yoga next year. I love ninjas with all of my body (including my pee pee).

Unusual

So, you want a gangsta name, huh, sucka?
Type in your current boring-ass name and be re-dubbed
Mine, apparently, is:
Heavy Killa

Picture of the Day

Space Shuttle Discovery hit a bird immediately after launched, July 26 2005.
That poor bird.

Life Lesson

And so, sick of seeing so many lambs run eagerly to the slaughter, I have created This Guide to REAL TIPS for Studying Japanese. Or, as is actually the case, NOT studying it.

Yawn

The Dullest Blog in the World.
The name says it all. Here are some entries:

Standing in the middle of the room (dull, April 21)
I was standing at a central point in the room. The walls were all at approximately the same distance from me. I continued to stand there for a few moments.

Scratching my knee (dull, September 10)
My knee had a slight itch. I reached out my hand and scratched the knee in question. The itch was relieved and I was able to continue with my activities.

Looking at a wall (dull, May 19)
I was standing quite near to a wall. I turned my attention towards it for a few moments. Having done this for several seconds I turned away from it and carried on doing something else.

Life Lesson

Who, Me? You let it out as silently as possible and nobody hears it. You discreetly take deep sniffs and smell nothing. You think you got away with it. But 30 seconds later, as if released from a stasis field, everybody starts to cough and splutter. You point to the person next to you and try to look innocent.

What is that, you ask? Well, it is just one of the type of farts that I think you should know.

The List

Top 59 Mistakes Made by Adolf Hitler

My favorite:
7. Chose swastika as party symbol rather than the daisy

Life Lesson

Things can be worse. There are bad things that can happen to you.

You are slightly annoyed but have no idea why.
Someone asks why you are so quiet, and you can\'t think of a response.
You get caught picking your nose.

Too Much Time

Useless Office Skills

Credit Card Buzzing
Take 2 credit cards and hold them back to back so the bumpy numbers are on the outside. Hold the cards extremely loosely at the edge of the short sides. Now blow air in between the cards. The sound you will hear will precisely express your feelings about the interest you are paying.



The rest of the skills are here.

Heard Good Music Lately?

Best American Bands Ever? A Haiku Review

14. The Ramones

T-shirts all around!
Ashlee Simpson now wears one.
Good time to burn yours.

Life Lesson

A Losers Guide To Being Single

Too Much Time

If the World War II had been done in a chatroom...

Life Lesson

If you happen to own a hippo and want to ship it by post, here's how.

Life Lesson

Do yourself a favor: Take a nap today. If you can’t seem to fall asleep, read this column three more times.

Superhero of the Day

Who has Batman touched?

The Test

This is a quick test which will be able to tell you quickly if you are a 100% certifiable idiot.

Please answer the following questions honestly to get an idiot analysis of yourself.

The Test

What kind of poison are you?

I am, of course...

Too Much Time

I find that the best time to crush a disk is right after it has failed while trying to copy important files from home to work. Pop it out of the drive, crush it in your hand, and you will feel slightly better.

The broken disks are entirely useless, and they can be discarded. Do NOT put them in the disk drive. Or, at least not your disk drive.

The Illustrated Guide To Breaking Your Computer

Cool!

FInd out what you are.

Weird

If Belgium doesn't exist, then what's in its location on the map?

There is nothing there! France shares a border with the Netherlands. Notice how Belgium is depicted as being wedge shaped? They simply pulled apart the French border from the coast all the way to Luxembourg and slipped Belgium in. Since they control the maps, no one notices the geographic inconsistencies arising from the spatial compressions and deformations needed to make it fit, the effects of which are subtle since they are spread over a large area: the ratio of actual distances to distances stated on maps and road signs increases by a gradual curve as you approach the France-Netherlands/Germany border from Paris to the west and Hannover to the east.

We Who Don't Leave the House

The Darth Side: Memoirs of a Monster

Journal of Darth Vader, Lord of the Sith and Servant to His Supreme Excellency the Emperor Palpatine.

Darth Vader's Blog

Okay, I admit it. I cut off the kid's hand. Everything went downhill after that.

Blast! Blast! Blast! I am such an idiot.

I surveilled my son as he walked through the city, my eyes closed, my back to the security monitors. His spirit danced and rained, his emotions farting out bright, flickering clouds of micro-causal flotsam in every direction. Lumbering arcs of probability swung around him in sick, drunken orbits, any one of them threatening to actualize at a sneeze.

Quite a lightshow, really. People who cannot see the Force have no idea what they are missing.

I was able to discern that the callow youth's undisciplined powers were being channeled into a keen signal by the famous blue astromech droid R2-D2, whose ability to manipulate or be manipulated by the Force is something I have never understood. Whether he is some kind of midichloric instrument or mechanical idiot savant, it cannot be ignored that his presence aids the boy.

Cool!

For you who don't leave the house. Build your own R2D2!

Way Too Much

Honest. I really don't know why anove ever sent toast through mails.

Heard Good Music Lately?

Top 13 Most Overrated Songs

Lyrically, Jim Morrison’s poetry-set-to-music resembles the scribbling of someone who has just finished the Romantic Poetry section of their tenth grade English class. This doesn’t even cover the fact that in the chorus, “fire” is rhymed with “fire,” the second of which is delivered with a strangled bellow that is supposed to convey some sort of passion that is missing in Morrison’s morose and flat delivery during the rest of the song. Also, “girl we couldn’t get much higher”? He sounds like an eight grader who just smoked some oregano he bought in the bathroom of the mall. Morrison is considered a rock god because he removed his pants in public, took too many drugs, and let disgusting overconfidence mask an obvious lack of talent.

Too Much Time

The second winner of Too Much Time posts!

I found an abandoned grocery list in a St. Louis Schnuck's parking lot in 1996 or 1997. So I decided to keep them every time I came across one. And the internet is a great place to do stupid things. So here it is.

A gallery of abandoned grocery lists!

The Test

For the bad guy/girl in you.

What Type of Villain are You?
Now be careful when you press that button at the bottom; sometimes it tends to wipe your memory.

Frightening!

I mean, how could they invent these names?
Here's a gallery of awfully named food/drink.

Close your eyes for a second, and repeat the words. Homo milk. What image comes to mind? If it involves cows, you need counselling more than I do.

Too Much Time

How to build the best paper airplane in the world.

When he started folding the paper, I knew this was something different, something special. He never explained how he did it but every move, every fold, every detail was burned into my memory. After he finished, we walked the porch handrail and he gently tossed it horizontally towards the street. It glided like no paper airplane I have ever seen before, it was acting like a REAL airplane. It gently curved into the slight breeze and began to rise vertically without moving forward. The craft then began to lower as if it were a helicopter and gently came to rest on the asphalt below.

Too Much Time

Anything that incolves a tape is definitely eligible as a Too Much Time post.

Here are just a few of the Wall (and Ceiling) Duck Tapings that we have been privy to. If you are going to do a wall taping, please remember that this CAN BE and IS dangerous unless you know what you are doing.

Silly

DO U WANT 2 MAEK UR SANTENCES LOK LIEK THAY R WRIT3N BY THOS3 TENAEGRS IN TEH CHATROM?!!!?!!?!

Too Much Time

How to make a starship enterprise out of an old floppy disk.

Life Lesson

Everything you want to know about the SHIFT key in your keyboard.

My religion prohibits the use of shift keys. how can i type capital letters and punctuation?

Discuss alternatives to the shift key with your spiritual advisor. Perhaps your deity would not be angered by repeated use of the Caps Lock key, or maybe you can retain a consultant to depress the shift for you. You might also consider replacing punctuation marks that require the use of shift keys with lower case expressions; replace ? with "huh" and ! with "zowie".

Read Good Books Lately?

Pages Ripped From Childrens' Books.

Life Lesson

Running out of excuse for the work, school, love life, etc.? This site has all the excuses you can't ever think of.

I have extremely bad diarrhea. I mean REALLY bad. I am stuck in the house for a LONNNNNNNG time. A *long* time.

Silly

Owna credit card? Notice that when you make a transaction with your card, the clerks don't even check whether your signature on the receipt is similar to your signature on the card? Do they even care? What's the point of me giving signature on the card, anyway?

This guy scribbles his receipts with weird images.
Next time I bought something that required a signature, I considered just creating a rectangle of solid black. Then I thought a grid might be weirder.

Too Much Time

Various signs form every corner of the road/world.

Cool!

Information and pictures of all the ACME products that Bugs Bunny, Wyle E. Coyote have been using.

I'd like to order this:

Unusual

If you have fat fingers then it is time to rejoice! This is "A Perfect Keyboard Solution". Big keys keyboard!

Seen Good Films Recently?

Harrison Ford. His entire acting carrier involves his index finger.

The Test

Everyone Loves The Simpsons, but if you lived in Springfield, have you ever wondered which Simpsons character you would be?

Life Lesson

For you who never get out of the house.
How to make friends by telephone.

Silly

A photo of the family at the beach. Even if the family had never gone to the beach.

Adobe Photoshop, the industry standard for digital photography, hopes to change that. It now offers a "Family Beach Photo" generator that will quickly and easily create a gorgeous, large format photo of your family on a virtual beach with just a couple quick clicks of the mouse.

Too Much Time

iPod vs. The Cassette
No Name No Slogan labs tests this years must-have device against one of the all time great audio formats...

Too Much Time

Of all the Too Much Time posts recently, this one is the winner!

The idea is to collect pictures showing spaces or items held together with brown tape or any kind of tape.

Frightening!

I think this is frightening. This machine can tell you if a text is written by a male or a female.

Inspired by an article in The New York Times Magazine, the Gender Genie uses a simplified version of an algorithm developed by Moshe Koppel, Bar-Ilan University in Israel, and Shlomo Argamon, Illinois Institute of Technology, to predict the gender of an author.

Give it a try. Test your own gender. See if it is/you are wrong.

Too Late

At the tattoo parlor, Marcus Gonzales found a list of Chinese characters and picked "strength" and "courage." His Tai-chi teacher finally confessed that they really say "dog" and "puppy."

Here’s what those cool-looking Japanese tattoos really say.

Cool!

Want to know how your name looks like in Chinese characters?
Mine looks like this:

Too Little Time

Let's face it. There's a lot of movies out there and very little time to watch them in. Well sit back and relax, because your troubles are solved! We here at Movie-A-Minute have come up with a solution. We've taken several classic and contemporary movies and extracted the important stuff, cutting out all the filler. (You'd be surprised how much filler there is sometimes.) With our ultra-condensed versions of your favorite films, you can experience whole movies in just one minute! As an added bonus, Movie-A-Minute protects against torture by bad movies -- if you don't have to sit through them, well, you don't have to sit through them.


The Godfather
Directed by Francis Ford Coppola
1972
Ultra-Condensed by Samuel Stoddard

Marlon Brando
Those who cross the family must be punished. (almost dies) (dies)

Al Pacino
I'll run the family business straight now, after I kill all these people.

THE END

Cool!

Cartoon drawings of the rock stars.

I'm Poor

Too poor to buy a new wallet? Try this. Create a wallet from duct tape.
You’ll need:
a roll of Scotch® Duct Tape,
a utility knife,
a ruler
background music (optional)

Stupidity Doesn't Have a Limit

This is the worst free web-based email. Why worst? Because only stupid people sign up. And why is that? Because of these reasons.

Life Lesson

We've all been there. It's a beautiful day, and you can't bear the thought of going into work. So you call in with some excuse about feeling ill, but you know in your bones that your boss doesn't buy it.
Here are 10 "excuses" -- five smart and five not-so-smart -- to help you save face and your sanity.

Way Too Much

These are people who have their bodies/parts of their bodies tattoed with images form Star Wars. Such people exist.

Too Much Time

Each one of us has at least one silly/stupid/idiotic question that is too dumb to be asked. Now you have all the answers here.
Sample questions:
Can something come from nothing?
Why is phonetic spelled with a ph?
Why do men have nipples?
When you lose weight, where does it go?
Should I believe anything I read here?

Hillarious, man...

Seen Good Films Recently?

The greatest villains in movies.
This is number 20:
# 20 MAN in BAMBI (Disney, 1942)

Frightening!

Would you you trust your doctor if he's high on cannabis, LSD, and other drugs? And if he never practiced medicine? And if he failed the obstetric exam? Would you let him make a hole with a drill in your skull? Even if he said it would lead you into enlightment and more energy and inspiration, and is on a permanent natural high? Would you?

Too Much Time

What is this about?
This site lists and comments upon many movies in which bagpipes appear.

You’re kidding, right?

Nope, but if you asked that question, you don't want to proceed further. However, if you are a piper, this list was created for you: it is presented for the delectation of pipers everywhere. It is fun to see how one’s favorite instrument and music is portrayed through the popular medium of film; it is also chastening to see how often the characterization is derisive and the representation is botched, or both.

Fantastic!

My dream comes true. There are people who hate cell phone as much as I do. And they go to the next level.

Smash my Phone
How do our technicians handle those telephones? There are different approaches, but one thing is sure: most cell phones ave very hard to break. Some brave people attempt to break telephones with their bare hands, but they'll be quickly disappointed. Even those wimpy modern phones that look so weak are actually very challenging to break. Only exception, cell phones with moving parts. In any case, an experienced technician will know how to handle a phone with the proper tools. Hammers, cars, and shoes. The correct choice of shoes is key in maintaining full control over the amount of damage to be inflicted.

Unusual

Dog-only-inhabited Island

Over 2,500 dogs are already enjoying a better life at Dog Island. Separated from the anxieties of urban life, dogs on Dog Island are healthy dogs who live a natural, healthy and happy life, free from the stress and hardship associated with daily live among humans.

They live with almost limitless space, and tens of thousands of rabbits, rodents, fish and other natural prey. Surrounded by thousands of other dogs, this is the only place for them to be truly social and create healthy families.

The Test

If I could be a Lord of the Rings character, I'd be:
Frodo. All ring, all the time.
Legolas. Mmm, arrows.
Sauron. It's all in the evil eye.
Gandalf. I dig white robes.
Harry Potter was in Lord of the Rings, right?

That is one of the questions to know "Which website are you?"

And I am, certainly...

Shoes of the Day

For years the old pattern went on. People were jaded by megacorporate
control of so much of their lives, but couldn't see how they might
take some power back. We decided to launch the counterattack. The
result is the world's first global anti-brand: Blackspot Shoes. Made from
organic, vegetarian, and recycled materials in a Portuguese union shop,
everything about Blackspots, from their red toe tips and hand-drawn
anti-logos to their renegade billboards and TV ads, is designed to do one
thing: kick megacorporate ass. We're going to cut into Nike's market
share, unswoosh their tired old swoosh and give birth to a new kind of
cool in the sneaker industry.

Read Good Comics Lately?

I love comics. But when they have these covers, I think I'll pass.

Seen Good Films Recently?

When talking about movie mistakes, we all know that the whole scenes in the films of Jean Claude van Damme from the beginning to the end are mistakes. But here are other scenesfrom other movies worth noticing.

Here's the number one:
1 Star Wars
When the stormtroopers break into the control room, watch very carefully and you will be able to see a storm trooper nearly render himself unconscious by smacking his head off a door frame. This is now so notorious that on the new DVD there's an audible "bump" when he hits it.

Have You Danced Lately

With all the news about Michael Jackson recently kinda remind you of his moonwalk dance and make you want to try or learn to do it. Admit it. Admit it. Please?