Monday, December 12, 2005
Free Time of the Day
Knitted digestive system. A new way of learning your digestive system with a little help from Grandma.
Friday, December 09, 2005
Thursday, November 24, 2005
Thursday, November 17, 2005
Facts of the Day
Top 30 facts of Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
Food of the Day
So yeah, carrots. He tells me that if someone eats a whole lot of carrots, they will turn orange for a while. I find it hard to believe, but he is always right about such things. It's also important to note that he doesn't actually specify how many carrots or for how long one would turn orange. For all I know at this point, it could be following the, "you are what you eat" principle and turning you into an actual carrot.
Time passes...
I'm driving down the road thinking about absolutely nothing. All of a sudden, BAM!! An idea hits me like a pound a bricks. Passing motorists mistake this as a cursory head banging. I need to find out if this whole, "turn yourself orange" thing works. Ideas start forming in my head, necessitating more head rocking. I know what I need to do, I need to consume enough carrots to turn myself orange!
Time passes...
I'm driving down the road thinking about absolutely nothing. All of a sudden, BAM!! An idea hits me like a pound a bricks. Passing motorists mistake this as a cursory head banging. I need to find out if this whole, "turn yourself orange" thing works. Ideas start forming in my head, necessitating more head rocking. I know what I need to do, I need to consume enough carrots to turn myself orange!
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
Superhero of the Day
Everyone hates Aquaman.
When they first formed the Super Friends, they had a good time making office pools on how long it would take until they had to rescue Aquaman again. Now it's just part of the day's scheduled events. Their day goes breakfast, arts and crafts, Earth Science, Batman's Bat-Tips, Lunch, free time, rescue Aquaman, lecture Aquaman, crisis prevention, song practice, rescue Aquaman, punch Aquaman, dinner.
When they first formed the Super Friends, they had a good time making office pools on how long it would take until they had to rescue Aquaman again. Now it's just part of the day's scheduled events. Their day goes breakfast, arts and crafts, Earth Science, Batman's Bat-Tips, Lunch, free time, rescue Aquaman, lecture Aquaman, crisis prevention, song practice, rescue Aquaman, punch Aquaman, dinner.
Monday, November 14, 2005
Love of the Day
Walesinabottle. Now you can have a piece of wales.
Your breath of fresh air from Wales comes to you in a
stylish presentation box and is accompanied with a personal certificate.
Your breath of fresh air from Wales comes to you in a
stylish presentation box and is accompanied with a personal certificate.
Monday, October 31, 2005
Too Much Time
This is a rap song by Snoop Dog. I know what the song means, but I wanted to do an interpretation of the song line by line.
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Thursday, September 29, 2005
Uselessness of the Day
Sprayonmud is a specially formulated spray-on product for anyone that wants to give friends, neighbours, colleagues or just anyone at all, the impression that they have been off-road or, at the very least, out in the country for the weekend.
Strangeness of the Day
Lance is a really nice guy, so someone nice would probably be good. And he's one of eight kids, and we think he wants a lot of kids, so you'd have to be down with the 'big family' thing. Why don't you submit yourself, submit a friend, or tell a friend to help us help him? Date Lance.
Monday, September 26, 2005
Free Time of the Day
People who don't have anything else to do turn to question English grammar.
Now that text messaging has become a normal method of communication, "text" appears to have become a verb, as in "Text your vote in now". Once that vote has been sent, what is the past tense? I don't think that I can bring myself to use "texted", but always saying "sent a text message" seems to be a contrived way to avoid "texted".
Now that text messaging has become a normal method of communication, "text" appears to have become a verb, as in "Text your vote in now". Once that vote has been sent, what is the past tense? I don't think that I can bring myself to use "texted", but always saying "sent a text message" seems to be a contrived way to avoid "texted".
Friday, September 23, 2005
Free Time of the Day
Have you noticed thata lot of men over a certain age look like country music superstar Kenny Rogers?
Men Who Look Like Kenny Rogers.
Men Who Look Like Kenny Rogers.
Uselessness of the Day
"Imagine: your dog, cat, or other pet in full military regalia. I make this fantasy a reality. Using the latest digital techniques, I combine a photo of your pet with the uniform and background of your choice."
Thursday, September 22, 2005
Free Time of the Day
Most people don't realize this, but electric lamps are horribly manufactured, grossly overpriced and a general waste of money.
Lamps, generally speaking, are nothing more than a façade that holds a light bulb socket in place so a bulb can be screwed in. On a basic level, an incandescent lamp has been made from the same stuff -- wire, switch and socket -- since it was invented.
As a result, making your own lamps is easier than you'd think, requiring a rather small amount of hardware, the kinds of tools that are most likely somewhere in your toolbox already and a wee bit of creativity. Nearly anything can be made into a housing unit for a lightbulb, including a wide variety of household appliances. But out of everything in my kitchen, nothing I've tried makes a better lamp than a blender.
HOW TO DO SOME IDIOTIC THINGS By Eric Gillin
Lamps, generally speaking, are nothing more than a façade that holds a light bulb socket in place so a bulb can be screwed in. On a basic level, an incandescent lamp has been made from the same stuff -- wire, switch and socket -- since it was invented.
As a result, making your own lamps is easier than you'd think, requiring a rather small amount of hardware, the kinds of tools that are most likely somewhere in your toolbox already and a wee bit of creativity. Nearly anything can be made into a housing unit for a lightbulb, including a wide variety of household appliances. But out of everything in my kitchen, nothing I've tried makes a better lamp than a blender.
HOW TO DO SOME IDIOTIC THINGS By Eric Gillin
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
Monday, September 19, 2005
Stupidity Doesn't Have a Limit
Congratulation! Your distant cousin in Congo is going to send you $100000000000000000!!!!
Create your own spam email!
Create your own spam email!
Friday, September 16, 2005
Life Lesson
Elvis' hero? Captain Marvel Jr.!
If you think you know all about Captain Marvel Jr.’s influence on Elvis Presley ... think again! Because the World’s Mightiest Boy didn't just influence the King of Rock and Roll's hairstyle — Captain Marvel Jr. helped shape Elvis’ entire lifestyle.
If you think you know all about Captain Marvel Jr.’s influence on Elvis Presley ... think again! Because the World’s Mightiest Boy didn't just influence the King of Rock and Roll's hairstyle — Captain Marvel Jr. helped shape Elvis’ entire lifestyle.
Stupidity Doesn't Have a Limit
As a small child I used to go to the grocery with my mom. There was a brown coin-op riding horse in the front of the store that I ALWAYS wanted to ride. My mom wouldn't let me, saying it was a waste of money, and usually throwing in some mention of the gum she just bought (as though my minuscule attention span could be satisfied with something that happened five minutes ago). One day, most likely after I threw a bratty fit, she let me ride the horse. I climbed atop his leather saddle, put my feet in the stirrups and awaited a great adventure with my trusty hooved companion. Mom inserted the quarter. About a minute later I couldn't figure out why I made such a big deal. It was an idealistic dream that would never be the same again. My innocence lost, I grew into adulthood and assumed my role in society and found a job. In a roll of quarters there are forty rides. It's time for my gainful employment to bankroll me in making up for lost time....
Thursday, September 15, 2005
Life Lesson
1000 More People More Annoying than Mick Hucknall
Is there anyone more annoying than Mick Hucknall? We like to think so! We hope that there is a steady flow of living celebrities who are more annoying than the ginger Simply Red lead man.
In order to prove this, we keep a database of 1000 living, non-fictional celebrities which are, in most people's opinion... More annoying than Mick Hucknall.
Is there anyone more annoying than Mick Hucknall? We like to think so! We hope that there is a steady flow of living celebrities who are more annoying than the ginger Simply Red lead man.
In order to prove this, we keep a database of 1000 living, non-fictional celebrities which are, in most people's opinion... More annoying than Mick Hucknall.
Too Much Time
Helvetica Vs Arial
Take the role of Helvetica, and let Arial know we don't need its type around here.
Take the role of Helvetica, and let Arial know we don't need its type around here.
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
Unusual
We do it everyday, yet we do not talk about it. It is 'taboo' on one hand and impolite to talk about it. Yet, when we go to 'toilets away from home' we sometimes put up with the many discomforts like hygiene problems, inadequate sanitation, design flaws and many other problems associated with public toilets.
World Toilet Organization is a non-profit organization comprises of currently 17 members.
World Toilet Organization is a non-profit organization comprises of currently 17 members.
Unusual
The next World Beard and Moustache Championships will take place in Berlin, the capital of Germany, on October 1, 2005.
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
Unusual
Join us in the attempt to drive Planet Earth into a new orbit, by letting millions of people jump!
Remember the date, World Jump Day!
Remember the date, World Jump Day!
Monday, September 12, 2005
Too Much Time
Everyone has those days where words won't begin to describe how you feel. Why not help your words do exactly what they want? What better way to let your boss know your true feelings than by resigning with the help of Lizzie Borden ? How else would you confess ardent feelings of corporate takeover than through the script of Jesse James? And everyone will know you mean business when Jack the Ripper writes your cover letters.
KillerFonts offers you all that and more. Not only can you enlist the most notorious psychopaths to your aid, but also the weighty words of Important People. Who could ignore a speech written by Abraham Lincoln, a poem by Edgar Allan Poe, or orders by Genghis Khan?
All Killer Fontsª are available in TrueType or PostScript, for Mac or PC, are 100% post-consumer content, and were never tested on animals.
KillerFonts offers you all that and more. Not only can you enlist the most notorious psychopaths to your aid, but also the weighty words of Important People. Who could ignore a speech written by Abraham Lincoln, a poem by Edgar Allan Poe, or orders by Genghis Khan?
All Killer Fontsª are available in TrueType or PostScript, for Mac or PC, are 100% post-consumer content, and were never tested on animals.
Unusual
I worked in the PR department of an area hospital (St. xxxxxxMedical Center, xxxxx, KY). Part of my written, stated job description was reading local newspapers and clipping health-related news articles. This was fine with my immediate supervisor. However, our rboss fired me for reading the papers. I still don't know how to identify appropriate articles without reading. It was the first time literacy was a hindrance to my job sercurity.
Read other stupid stories of people being fired from jobs.
Read other stupid stories of people being fired from jobs.
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
Stupidity Doesn't Have a Limit
This 1883 book is without question the worst phrasebook ever written. The writer, Pedro Carolino, who was Portuguese, did not particularly speak English, nor did he have a Portuguese-English dictionary available. Instead, he worked with a French-English phrasebook and a Portuguese-French dictionary. The results, I'm sure you'll agree, are staggering.
This text is that of a book of excerpts compiled a few years after the book was first published. Anything that looks like an error is, in fact, the way it actually appears in the book. I've transcribed the complete text of that book; I do not, unfortunately, have a copy of the original. I'm sure you'll notice bits that look like typos. They're not; that's all part of the fun.
This text is that of a book of excerpts compiled a few years after the book was first published. Anything that looks like an error is, in fact, the way it actually appears in the book. I've transcribed the complete text of that book; I do not, unfortunately, have a copy of the original. I'm sure you'll notice bits that look like typos. They're not; that's all part of the fun.
Monday, September 05, 2005
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Too Much Time`
Bumvertising™, or the use of sign holding vagrants to advertise, is a development of PokerFaceBook.com's most recent advertising campaign. Homeless men are able to provide a valuable and tangible service to a company, while receiving an additional revenue stream in combination with their normal donations from begging.
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
Life Lesson
40 Funny Reasons Why It's Wonderful To Be A Woman
2. A woman can hug her best friend without worrying she'll think she's gay.
2. A woman can hug her best friend without worrying she'll think she's gay.
Thursday, August 11, 2005
Unusual
Mobile Phone Throwing World Championships
The organizer provides official WC mobile phones that are used in Mobile Phone Throwing World Championships. There are all kinds of brands and models to choose from. Every contestant can choose the best fitting phone for him/her. During the throw the competitor must stay within the throwing area. If the thrower steps over the area, the throw will be disqualified. The phone must land within the marked throwing sector. The official jury of the competition will accept or disqualify the throw. The jury’s decisions cannot be protested.
The organizer provides official WC mobile phones that are used in Mobile Phone Throwing World Championships. There are all kinds of brands and models to choose from. Every contestant can choose the best fitting phone for him/her. During the throw the competitor must stay within the throwing area. If the thrower steps over the area, the throw will be disqualified. The phone must land within the marked throwing sector. The official jury of the competition will accept or disqualify the throw. The jury’s decisions cannot be protested.
Unusual
Introvertster is an online community that prevents stupid people and friends from harrassing you online.
You can use Introvertster to:
Avoid invites to chat, filter out annoying invitations for Meetup, birthday parties, or after-hours get togethers.
Packet flood a friends Internet connection making it impossible for them to send you an instant message.
Help your friends get a clue that you really don't like people or care for idle chit-chat.
Create your own barrier to protect yourself against interaction with people. It's easy and fun!
You can use Introvertster to:
Avoid invites to chat, filter out annoying invitations for Meetup, birthday parties, or after-hours get togethers.
Packet flood a friends Internet connection making it impossible for them to send you an instant message.
Help your friends get a clue that you really don't like people or care for idle chit-chat.
Create your own barrier to protect yourself against interaction with people. It's easy and fun!
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
Too Much Time`
Admit it. As you were looking up a number in the phone book, a funny listing caught your eye. You chuckled at the poor guy whose name is also a curse word. Then you thought, "If I had nothing better to do, what other funny names could I find in the phone book?"
That's where the Funny Name Server comes in. We've done all the work for you already!
That's where the Funny Name Server comes in. We've done all the work for you already!
Monday, August 08, 2005
Stupidity Doesn't Have a Limit
You have the impression that the disasters of the world do not touch you anymore? You feel vaguely sorry for other people's misfortunes but you don't feel the inner urge which used to make you help your neighbour ? WiFi-SM is the solution!
WiFi-SM is an Internet connected wireless device that you can fix on any part of your body. It automatically detects the information from approximately 4,500 news sources worldwide updated continuously and analyses them looking for specific keywords such as death, kill, murder, torture, rape, war, virus etc.. Each time the text of the news contains one of these keywords, your WiFi-SM device is activated through the Wi-Fi network and provides you with an electric impulse. This impulse is calibrated so that you can feel a certain amount of pain, but is completely safe.
WiFi-SM is an Internet connected wireless device that you can fix on any part of your body. It automatically detects the information from approximately 4,500 news sources worldwide updated continuously and analyses them looking for specific keywords such as death, kill, murder, torture, rape, war, virus etc.. Each time the text of the news contains one of these keywords, your WiFi-SM device is activated through the Wi-Fi network and provides you with an electric impulse. This impulse is calibrated so that you can feel a certain amount of pain, but is completely safe.
Stupidity Doesn't Have a Limit
These are calls from people without a clue in their heads. They call tech support lines and refuse to get off until the tech support staff members on the other end have lost all remnants of their sanity. The callers invariably exhibit both incompetence and belligerence, either of which is fully capable of driving even the strongest to the height of frustration or the brink of frenzied hysteria. The content of these calls is a conglomeration of computer stupidities of every variety, glued together with so thick a haze of idiocy, it will cause instant and complete gray hair to anyone remotely associated. Be forewarned.
* Tech Support: "Ok sir, we'll do a file search to find it. Can you please click on Start, then Find, then--"
* Customer: "Don't talk down to me like that! I'm not an idiot -- I know what I'm doing!"
* Tech Support: "Ok sir, please Start, then Find to do a file search."
* Customer: "How do I do that?"
* Tech Support: "Ok sir, we'll do a file search to find it. Can you please click on Start, then Find, then--"
* Customer: "Don't talk down to me like that! I'm not an idiot -- I know what I'm doing!"
* Tech Support: "Ok sir, please Start, then Find to do a file search."
* Customer: "How do I do that?"
Way Too Much Time
A guy has nothing better to do than listen to other people's conversation and make a website to record them all.
Friday, August 05, 2005
Life Lesson
But before we continue to bash Hummer owners, let's look at more images. Our second set of pictures shows us a Hummer with its blueprint I made in Microshaft Paint in little over 3 minutes. I seriously doubt that the Hummer's numerous engineers, scienticians, statisticians, and mathemagicians came up with anything better. Notice the uncanny resemblance to the nicknamed "communism on wheels":
Thursday, August 04, 2005
Unusual
aside from the counters on the top of the screen and a distorted perspective it was ok- not high quality but watchable. the captions were a hilarious surprise- a direct english translation of the chinese interpretation of what the script was saying.
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
Too Much Time
The digit 1 has been called "The loneliest number," yet many organizations, including sports teams, companies and countries take pride in calling themselves "Number 1." This page, part of The Digits Project, is dedicated to the investigation, analysis, and discussion of the paradoxical digit 1.
Monday, August 01, 2005
Too Much Time
I realized what this world needed was a web page devoted to pictures of celebrities playing table tennis. And here it is!
Unusual
Kinda like Wikipedia, but the whole information contained is wrong, false, misguided, whatever.
The Uncyclopedia.
The Uncyclopedia.
Too Much Time
Do they forget they had a bike? Most of the bikes pictured here are pretty cheap bikes. Some of the bikes appear to have been abandoned long ago.
A gallery of abandoned bikes.
A gallery of abandoned bikes.
The List
Top 10 - Worst sport team nicknames
5 - New York Knicks (basketball)
Knicks is an abbreviation of knickerbockers. That's right underwear. The New York Undies if you want. The name traces back to the Dutch settlers who arrived in New York in the 1600s. The style of pants they wore were rolled up just below the knee. Great historical affiliation but not very intimidating.
5 - New York Knicks (basketball)
Knicks is an abbreviation of knickerbockers. That's right underwear. The New York Undies if you want. The name traces back to the Dutch settlers who arrived in New York in the 1600s. The style of pants they wore were rolled up just below the knee. Great historical affiliation but not very intimidating.
The Test
Every office has at least one jerk, pest or loudmouth who drives the rest of the workers crazy.
Could it be you? Take this quiz to find out how annoying you might be.
This is so me:
20. Your dialogue with others often end with the other person shouting, "You are so annoying!"
In fact, all of them are so me.
Could it be you? Take this quiz to find out how annoying you might be.
This is so me:
20. Your dialogue with others often end with the other person shouting, "You are so annoying!"
In fact, all of them are so me.
Friday, July 29, 2005
Stupidity Doesn't Have a Limit
This site is all about CrushedCans. Cans are cool, they are readily available, they are easy to crush and they are part of our everyday lives. So here is a place you can purchase a blank, sealed aluminum can that has been artistically crushed.
With every purchase of a crushed can, you will receive the following:
(1) Crushed Can
It's really pretty simple. As was already stated, no rocket science here. If you want to order a Crushed Can, use PayPal and give your address and a can will be delivered to you.
Stupidity Doesn't Have a Limit
Sign a petition on a petitiononline.com to shut down petitiononline.com
Too Much Time
The Official Ninja Page
Ninjas are sooooooooooo sweet that I want to crap my pants. I can't believe it sometimes, but I feel it inside my heart. These guys are totally awesome and that's a fact. Ninjas are fast, smooth, cool, strong, powerful, and sweet. I can't wait to start yoga next year. I love ninjas with all of my body (including my pee pee).
Ninjas are sooooooooooo sweet that I want to crap my pants. I can't believe it sometimes, but I feel it inside my heart. These guys are totally awesome and that's a fact. Ninjas are fast, smooth, cool, strong, powerful, and sweet. I can't wait to start yoga next year. I love ninjas with all of my body (including my pee pee).
Unusual
So, you want a gangsta name, huh, sucka?
Type in your current boring-ass name and be re-dubbed
Mine, apparently, is:
Heavy Killa
Type in your current boring-ass name and be re-dubbed
Mine, apparently, is:
Heavy Killa
Thursday, July 28, 2005
Picture of the Day
Space Shuttle Discovery hit a bird immediately after launched, July 26 2005.
That poor bird.
That poor bird.
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
Life Lesson
And so, sick of seeing so many lambs run eagerly to the slaughter, I have created This Guide to REAL TIPS for Studying Japanese. Or, as is actually the case, NOT studying it.
Yawn
The Dullest Blog in the World.
The name says it all. Here are some entries:
Standing in the middle of the room (dull, April 21)
I was standing at a central point in the room. The walls were all at approximately the same distance from me. I continued to stand there for a few moments.
Scratching my knee (dull, September 10)
My knee had a slight itch. I reached out my hand and scratched the knee in question. The itch was relieved and I was able to continue with my activities.
Looking at a wall (dull, May 19)
I was standing quite near to a wall. I turned my attention towards it for a few moments. Having done this for several seconds I turned away from it and carried on doing something else.
The name says it all. Here are some entries:
Standing in the middle of the room (dull, April 21)
I was standing at a central point in the room. The walls were all at approximately the same distance from me. I continued to stand there for a few moments.
Scratching my knee (dull, September 10)
My knee had a slight itch. I reached out my hand and scratched the knee in question. The itch was relieved and I was able to continue with my activities.
Looking at a wall (dull, May 19)
I was standing quite near to a wall. I turned my attention towards it for a few moments. Having done this for several seconds I turned away from it and carried on doing something else.
Life Lesson
Who, Me? You let it out as silently as possible and nobody hears it. You discreetly take deep sniffs and smell nothing. You think you got away with it. But 30 seconds later, as if released from a stasis field, everybody starts to cough and splutter. You point to the person next to you and try to look innocent.
What is that, you ask? Well, it is just one of the type of farts that I think you should know.
What is that, you ask? Well, it is just one of the type of farts that I think you should know.
The List
Top 59 Mistakes Made by Adolf Hitler
My favorite:
7. Chose swastika as party symbol rather than the daisy
My favorite:
7. Chose swastika as party symbol rather than the daisy
Life Lesson
Things can be worse. There are bad things that can happen to you.
You are slightly annoyed but have no idea why.
Someone asks why you are so quiet, and you can\'t think of a response.
You get caught picking your nose.
You are slightly annoyed but have no idea why.
Someone asks why you are so quiet, and you can\'t think of a response.
You get caught picking your nose.
Monday, July 25, 2005
Too Much Time
Useless Office Skills
Credit Card Buzzing
Take 2 credit cards and hold them back to back so the bumpy numbers are on the outside. Hold the cards extremely loosely at the edge of the short sides. Now blow air in between the cards. The sound you will hear will precisely express your feelings about the interest you are paying.
The rest of the skills are here.
Credit Card Buzzing
Take 2 credit cards and hold them back to back so the bumpy numbers are on the outside. Hold the cards extremely loosely at the edge of the short sides. Now blow air in between the cards. The sound you will hear will precisely express your feelings about the interest you are paying.
The rest of the skills are here.
Heard Good Music Lately?
Best American Bands Ever? A Haiku Review
14. The Ramones
T-shirts all around!
Ashlee Simpson now wears one.
Good time to burn yours.
14. The Ramones
T-shirts all around!
Ashlee Simpson now wears one.
Good time to burn yours.
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
Life Lesson
Do yourself a favor: Take a nap today. If you can’t seem to fall asleep, read this column three more times.
Monday, July 18, 2005
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
The Test
This is a quick test which will be able to tell you quickly if you are a 100% certifiable idiot.
Please answer the following questions honestly to get an idiot analysis of yourself.
Please answer the following questions honestly to get an idiot analysis of yourself.
Too Much Time
I find that the best time to crush a disk is right after it has failed while trying to copy important files from home to work. Pop it out of the drive, crush it in your hand, and you will feel slightly better.
The broken disks are entirely useless, and they can be discarded. Do NOT put them in the disk drive. Or, at least not your disk drive.
The Illustrated Guide To Breaking Your Computer
The broken disks are entirely useless, and they can be discarded. Do NOT put them in the disk drive. Or, at least not your disk drive.
The Illustrated Guide To Breaking Your Computer
Weird
If Belgium doesn't exist, then what's in its location on the map?
There is nothing there! France shares a border with the Netherlands. Notice how Belgium is depicted as being wedge shaped? They simply pulled apart the French border from the coast all the way to Luxembourg and slipped Belgium in. Since they control the maps, no one notices the geographic inconsistencies arising from the spatial compressions and deformations needed to make it fit, the effects of which are subtle since they are spread over a large area: the ratio of actual distances to distances stated on maps and road signs increases by a gradual curve as you approach the France-Netherlands/Germany border from Paris to the west and Hannover to the east.
There is nothing there! France shares a border with the Netherlands. Notice how Belgium is depicted as being wedge shaped? They simply pulled apart the French border from the coast all the way to Luxembourg and slipped Belgium in. Since they control the maps, no one notices the geographic inconsistencies arising from the spatial compressions and deformations needed to make it fit, the effects of which are subtle since they are spread over a large area: the ratio of actual distances to distances stated on maps and road signs increases by a gradual curve as you approach the France-Netherlands/Germany border from Paris to the west and Hannover to the east.
Monday, July 11, 2005
We Who Don't Leave the House
The Darth Side: Memoirs of a Monster
Journal of Darth Vader, Lord of the Sith and Servant to His Supreme Excellency the Emperor Palpatine.
Darth Vader's Blog
Okay, I admit it. I cut off the kid's hand. Everything went downhill after that.
Blast! Blast! Blast! I am such an idiot.
I surveilled my son as he walked through the city, my eyes closed, my back to the security monitors. His spirit danced and rained, his emotions farting out bright, flickering clouds of micro-causal flotsam in every direction. Lumbering arcs of probability swung around him in sick, drunken orbits, any one of them threatening to actualize at a sneeze.
Quite a lightshow, really. People who cannot see the Force have no idea what they are missing.
I was able to discern that the callow youth's undisciplined powers were being channeled into a keen signal by the famous blue astromech droid R2-D2, whose ability to manipulate or be manipulated by the Force is something I have never understood. Whether he is some kind of midichloric instrument or mechanical idiot savant, it cannot be ignored that his presence aids the boy.
Journal of Darth Vader, Lord of the Sith and Servant to His Supreme Excellency the Emperor Palpatine.
Darth Vader's Blog
Okay, I admit it. I cut off the kid's hand. Everything went downhill after that.
Blast! Blast! Blast! I am such an idiot.
I surveilled my son as he walked through the city, my eyes closed, my back to the security monitors. His spirit danced and rained, his emotions farting out bright, flickering clouds of micro-causal flotsam in every direction. Lumbering arcs of probability swung around him in sick, drunken orbits, any one of them threatening to actualize at a sneeze.
Quite a lightshow, really. People who cannot see the Force have no idea what they are missing.
I was able to discern that the callow youth's undisciplined powers were being channeled into a keen signal by the famous blue astromech droid R2-D2, whose ability to manipulate or be manipulated by the Force is something I have never understood. Whether he is some kind of midichloric instrument or mechanical idiot savant, it cannot be ignored that his presence aids the boy.
Friday, July 08, 2005
Heard Good Music Lately?
Top 13 Most Overrated Songs
Lyrically, Jim Morrison’s poetry-set-to-music resembles the scribbling of someone who has just finished the Romantic Poetry section of their tenth grade English class. This doesn’t even cover the fact that in the chorus, “fire” is rhymed with “fire,” the second of which is delivered with a strangled bellow that is supposed to convey some sort of passion that is missing in Morrison’s morose and flat delivery during the rest of the song. Also, “girl we couldn’t get much higher”? He sounds like an eight grader who just smoked some oregano he bought in the bathroom of the mall. Morrison is considered a rock god because he removed his pants in public, took too many drugs, and let disgusting overconfidence mask an obvious lack of talent.
Lyrically, Jim Morrison’s poetry-set-to-music resembles the scribbling of someone who has just finished the Romantic Poetry section of their tenth grade English class. This doesn’t even cover the fact that in the chorus, “fire” is rhymed with “fire,” the second of which is delivered with a strangled bellow that is supposed to convey some sort of passion that is missing in Morrison’s morose and flat delivery during the rest of the song. Also, “girl we couldn’t get much higher”? He sounds like an eight grader who just smoked some oregano he bought in the bathroom of the mall. Morrison is considered a rock god because he removed his pants in public, took too many drugs, and let disgusting overconfidence mask an obvious lack of talent.
Thursday, July 07, 2005
Too Much Time
The second winner of Too Much Time posts!
I found an abandoned grocery list in a St. Louis Schnuck's parking lot in 1996 or 1997. So I decided to keep them every time I came across one. And the internet is a great place to do stupid things. So here it is.
A gallery of abandoned grocery lists!
I found an abandoned grocery list in a St. Louis Schnuck's parking lot in 1996 or 1997. So I decided to keep them every time I came across one. And the internet is a great place to do stupid things. So here it is.
A gallery of abandoned grocery lists!
The Test
For the bad guy/girl in you.
What Type of Villain are You?
Now be careful when you press that button at the bottom; sometimes it tends to wipe your memory.
What Type of Villain are You?
Now be careful when you press that button at the bottom; sometimes it tends to wipe your memory.
Frightening!
I mean, how could they invent these names?
Here's a gallery of awfully named food/drink.
Close your eyes for a second, and repeat the words. Homo milk. What image comes to mind? If it involves cows, you need counselling more than I do.
Here's a gallery of awfully named food/drink.
Close your eyes for a second, and repeat the words. Homo milk. What image comes to mind? If it involves cows, you need counselling more than I do.
Too Much Time
How to build the best paper airplane in the world.
When he started folding the paper, I knew this was something different, something special. He never explained how he did it but every move, every fold, every detail was burned into my memory. After he finished, we walked the porch handrail and he gently tossed it horizontally towards the street. It glided like no paper airplane I have ever seen before, it was acting like a REAL airplane. It gently curved into the slight breeze and began to rise vertically without moving forward. The craft then began to lower as if it were a helicopter and gently came to rest on the asphalt below.
When he started folding the paper, I knew this was something different, something special. He never explained how he did it but every move, every fold, every detail was burned into my memory. After he finished, we walked the porch handrail and he gently tossed it horizontally towards the street. It glided like no paper airplane I have ever seen before, it was acting like a REAL airplane. It gently curved into the slight breeze and began to rise vertically without moving forward. The craft then began to lower as if it were a helicopter and gently came to rest on the asphalt below.
Too Much Time
Anything that incolves a tape is definitely eligible as a Too Much Time post.
Here are just a few of the Wall (and Ceiling) Duck Tapings that we have been privy to. If you are going to do a wall taping, please remember that this CAN BE and IS dangerous unless you know what you are doing.
Here are just a few of the Wall (and Ceiling) Duck Tapings that we have been privy to. If you are going to do a wall taping, please remember that this CAN BE and IS dangerous unless you know what you are doing.
Life Lesson
Everything you want to know about the SHIFT key in your keyboard.
My religion prohibits the use of shift keys. how can i type capital letters and punctuation?
Discuss alternatives to the shift key with your spiritual advisor. Perhaps your deity would not be angered by repeated use of the Caps Lock key, or maybe you can retain a consultant to depress the shift for you. You might also consider replacing punctuation marks that require the use of shift keys with lower case expressions; replace ? with "huh" and ! with "zowie".
My religion prohibits the use of shift keys. how can i type capital letters and punctuation?
Discuss alternatives to the shift key with your spiritual advisor. Perhaps your deity would not be angered by repeated use of the Caps Lock key, or maybe you can retain a consultant to depress the shift for you. You might also consider replacing punctuation marks that require the use of shift keys with lower case expressions; replace ? with "huh" and ! with "zowie".
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
Life Lesson
Running out of excuse for the work, school, love life, etc.? This site has all the excuses you can't ever think of.
I have extremely bad diarrhea. I mean REALLY bad. I am stuck in the house for a LONNNNNNNG time. A *long* time.
I have extremely bad diarrhea. I mean REALLY bad. I am stuck in the house for a LONNNNNNNG time. A *long* time.
Silly
Owna credit card? Notice that when you make a transaction with your card, the clerks don't even check whether your signature on the receipt is similar to your signature on the card? Do they even care? What's the point of me giving signature on the card, anyway?
This guy scribbles his receipts with weird images.
Next time I bought something that required a signature, I considered just creating a rectangle of solid black. Then I thought a grid might be weirder.
This guy scribbles his receipts with weird images.
Next time I bought something that required a signature, I considered just creating a rectangle of solid black. Then I thought a grid might be weirder.
Cool!
Information and pictures of all the ACME products that Bugs Bunny, Wyle E. Coyote have been using.
I'd like to order this:
I'd like to order this:
Unusual
If you have fat fingers then it is time to rejoice! This is "A Perfect Keyboard Solution". Big keys keyboard!
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
The Test
Everyone Loves The Simpsons, but if you lived in Springfield, have you ever wondered which Simpsons character you would be?
Silly
A photo of the family at the beach. Even if the family had never gone to the beach.
Adobe Photoshop, the industry standard for digital photography, hopes to change that. It now offers a "Family Beach Photo" generator that will quickly and easily create a gorgeous, large format photo of your family on a virtual beach with just a couple quick clicks of the mouse.
Adobe Photoshop, the industry standard for digital photography, hopes to change that. It now offers a "Family Beach Photo" generator that will quickly and easily create a gorgeous, large format photo of your family on a virtual beach with just a couple quick clicks of the mouse.
Too Much Time
iPod vs. The Cassette
No Name No Slogan labs tests this years must-have device against one of the all time great audio formats...
No Name No Slogan labs tests this years must-have device against one of the all time great audio formats...
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